Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, we continue to make mistakes. Most of them disappointingly repetitive and some of them mistakes we’ve never thought we could make but find a way to out do ourselves and make them anyway. The question is if we continue to make mistakes, many of which are avoidable and unreasonable, do we in fact ever learn from our mistakes or just fall into an unbeatable cycle of regret? And if so those are mistakes and we acknowledge them, do we really want to fix them or keep making them for the the thrill of it? Where is the the line between a repeating mistake and an obsession?
Time after time my friend calls me in desperation asking me why the boy she was seeing left her because he thought she was suffocating him. I didn’t know if I wanted to tell her the truth and say he was right she’s too controlling and clingy or spare her feeling and lie to her. She was going through enough so I bit my tongue. Instead I asked “I have no idea what do you think?”. She then told me that in fact it wasn’t her who was the problem instead it was the boys she picks. All average at best, all with no ambition, but all tall, tan, and troubled.
This got me thinking. Why if she knows they are bad for her, why does she still pick them? I then asked her “Why do you still go for them? The no goods.”. She then replied, “I like how he makes feel. Endangered.”. Was she really in it for the relationship or was she in it for the drama? Every day she would fight with him but would look forward to the way he would try to make it up to her. Once the relationship was going smoothly again she found a way to ruin it for the soul purpose of her amusement. Then I wondered if this somehow related to the mistakes we make in life. We continue to make them even though they are bad. Yet we find thrill in making them because they are bad. Its like going on a rollercoaster, you know that at some point you’re going to feel like your stomach is in your throat but its the thrill that keeps you on and wanting more.
In an article by Scott Berkum, it states that “So the most important lesson in all of mistake making is to trust that while mistakes are inevitable, if you can learn from the current one, you’ll also be able to learn from future ones.”. If we however do not see our mistakes as lessons to be learned and don’t really learn from them but use them as excuses, do they become an addiction? For example my mother goes on this ridiculous no carb, no sugar, no fun unrealistic diet every week that she tends to break due to the temptation of a 5.99 combo meal at the In N Out. She blames it on her cheat day and claims it’ll be different “starting Monday” but it never really is. i think she’s just addicted to the cycle and the thrill of the idea of losing weight instead of the actual weight loss.
My biggest mistake is studying like a crazy person the night before a test because I think somehow my brain will magically turn in to this Einstein sponge of a brain and just absorb every bit of information I read like some kind of computer. Unfortunately that is not the case and does not apply to me as I forget every bit of information as soon as I shut the book. However I love the rush of cramming everything last minute and though I try to change it, I just seem to be doing everything the same.
How does this relate? Well mistakes are made to learn from and ideally we shouldn’t make them again but sometimes we fall in love with our mistakes and instead of growing from them and moving on we keep them and continue to linger on that thrill of making them. Can we be addicted to our mistakes? and if so are we doomed?